Ho'oponopono means no expectations

Ho'oponopono means no expectations
Published: August 24, 2009

With Ho'oponopono, expectations are memories.

Ho'oponopono shows us that these memories are the part of us that thinks it knows what are the correct results, how things should be, and what is right and what is wrong.

We can't avoid having expectations, but when they come up, you can clean, you can let go of the expectations. Then you're open, like a little child. You don't know what's going to come.

Ho'oponopono is just like magic. When you do Ho'oponopono without expecting certain results, you'll experience the best results. That's why many times we say, "Expect miracles." But you still clean and erase so you can really see the miracles because in your mind, maybe you think you know what the miracle should be, and when and how it should show up.

So, your job is to let go and be open to receive. Like going back to being a child again. Remember those days? You have to be willing to play, to dream and laugh more. When things don't go the way you expect them, you notice you get upset. (You can't avoid it.) Then you let go faster and go back to playing, dreaming and laughing. You live in the moment. You don't dwell in the past and don't worry about the future.

Let go of those programs that tell you what you should expect and play like children again.



29 Responses to “Ho'oponopono means no expectations”
  1. Phil Walsh says:

    I have no expectations as I clean on them, too, but I do seem to just "know" some things before they happen. I recommend that everyone try dropping expectations, but walk around "thank you's" or "I love you's" as your internal soundtrack. What happens has amazed me. Give it a try!

  2. Jessica B says:

    I'm finding it so hard to apply the letting go and having no expectations, especially when I know I really REALLY want a specific result. Especially when it comes to other peoples reactions, when trying to clean our reactions, I automatically expect the other persons reactions to change and when they don't, I feel so discouraged. I have always been clingy and easily attach to things, people things, outcomes etc, its deeply ingrained within me. I just cannot imagine my peace being independent from other peoples actions and reactions. Even though I know it all from an intellectual level, I cant put it into practice. I'm finding it so hard to apply. Any tips?

  3. Mabel Katz says:

    First, you need to be aware that you are 100% responsible. You are doing it to yourself. You are choosing to be attached and depending on other people to make you happy. If you are happy, please be my guest and continue doing that. You always have to do what works for you.

    Whenever you decide enough is enough, you can change things around. You are the only one that can do it. You are creating your own reality. Even if people change and behave the way you expect, you are not going to be happy, because what you are looking for is inside of yourself. Not out there. Nobody can make you happy or unhappy. People are a gift in your life. They are your teachers. They are just showing up what is in you that you need to let go. Something in you (memory) holds them that way and they cannot help unless you change your perception of them. They are perfect and you are perfect too. The only thing that is not perfect are the memories.

    Let Go of your expectations (memories) and be happy!!

  4. Sharon says:


    What you wrote is wonderful. WONDERFUL! Thank you.



  5. Sharon says:

    As an addition to thanking Mabel for caring enough about the cleaning to put things in such a correct perspective for us, I am also reminded, this morning, that practicing the Ho'oponopono way since the mid-90's (and believe me, I still need to do it, crucially, every single moment), has taught me better how to clean.

    What I'm saying is that if you just keep doing it -- and once you are introduced to it you really are going to return to it, because there is NOT a better way, or an easier way, to paraphrase Mabel -- but if you just keep doing it enough memories will be released to Light so that you get better at doing the cleaning. It becomes simpler to do, less about "thinking" and more about letting go. You develop a stronger relationship to your inner family....your child within, and your Divinity.

    For example, when I read what Jessica says about not being able to imagine her freedom from the memories playing as she interacts with others, my first thought is, CLEAN that. Let go of that memory telling you that you are controlled by the behaviors of others, and of your reactions to their behaviors (memories replaying) or even of your own behaviors (memories replaying).

    Light switch....I mentally turn the light switch on those memories that say I cannot DREAM to be FREE.

    One thing I have learned is to clean the very thing that is bothering me the most. Often we are so enslaved by our ingrained response (memories replaying) that we actually think, we believe the problem is somewhere, someone or something else. In fact, I would say that 98% of the time we don't realize we are holding the problem in us, to be released by our own SIMPLE recognition of this, at our own initiation. And that's true for me, practicing the Ho'oponopono. It is a given that I am not going to "get it," that my thinking mind is not ever going to understand it. That's why Mabel is such a gift to us, because she continues to REMIND us exactly as she did above.


    Jessica, you can do this!

    I love you.



  6. Kay says:

    Hi Mabel and all of you who read this. I have been cleaning regularly now for about a year, although I did read Zero Limits 4 years ago, but didn't quite 'get it!' But now I do and I have to say for me 'Ho'oponopono' works. I spent 17 years feeling very bitter about the relationship I had with my Mother, and when I ever spoke of her, only negative memories replayed. Now I am so happy that whenever I think or talk about my Mum, only happy positive memories appear in my mind. I do not feel bitter or resentful, the bad memories have gone away. I say to whoever is doubtful that this works, just keep saying the I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me and thank you, whenever you can in any given 'moment'. When I wake at night if I start to 'think' I stop and say those wonderful words. Little miracles have started to happen and life is wonderful, have faith.... This works. I love you.

    • Mabel Katz says:

      You may keep saying the 4 phrases if that feels good but you don't have to. Just repeating Thank you or I love will do it too. When you use any of the tools you are taking 100% responsibility and actually saying: I'm sorry, please forgive me for whatever is in me that manifests in this. Thank you for the opportunity.

  7. linda.silvery says:

    Hello Mabel, I just started cleaning these 2-3 weeks and have noticed that for the pat few days, I suddenly feel depressed, starts to cry and feel helpless about myself. Is this normal? Is this part of the cleaning process?

    When I keep saying 'I am sorry', am i attracting negativity to myself leading to me feeling sad and depressed?

    And lastly, about 'no expectations', do you mean that in mind I cannot decide how things will unfold, but know in my heart that that miracles will surely happen.

    Thank you

    • Mabel Katz says:

      Please do not try to understand. When you notice those feelings, tell them "thank you" Do not resist them. What you resist, persists. There are different ways that our body will let go of memories. Just go with the flow. You are above those feelings. the problem are not the fellings, but that you engae with them.
      Same with expectations, when you notice them, let go!

  8. rushi says:

    I broke my relation with her...what id do...so 100 prescient responsible what is going on in me that she do not love me..I am sorry please forgive me for whatever going on in me that I created or attracted problems in my life and relationship I love u thank you..
    this is right process...

    • Mabel Katz says:

      Please let go and let God. Everything happens for a reason. TRUST. Do it to feel at peace even if she doesn't come up. Maybe there is somebody better for you. Relax and allow God to guide you.

  9. rushi says:

    there are so many questions...I knw it's data talking to me...but what I do...I really love her
    and one more questions what question ask to my self...what is going in me that she do not love me...and then let go

    • Mabel Katz says:

      Let go and let God. Everything is perfect, even if it doesn't look like.

      • Marina says:

        Hello mabel...3 months ago I started to feel bad..I couldn't sleep,,,i was depressed...Then my cousin said me that he is using the method of ho'oponopono...That time I did not know something about this method...I started to repeat the mantra very often...Then I realized that I am getting worse and worse ...I am crying the whole day long sometimes...So painful thoughts are coming to me..please ,,i wanted to know can I for now stop usind this method??Cose I cant be calm,i can't sleeo well..I have read in some forum ,that if you start doing ho'oponopono you must doall the time,if I quit means that the memoris that now I have awakenen will be demonstrated ina real life??Or the memories will calm down?thanks

        • Mabel Katz says:

          Marina, we do not know if this reaction is due to Ho'oponopono or not.
          We just do it to be at peace even if we cannot sleep or even if we have problems.
          Sometimes this could be a way to let go. We have to go through the darkness in order to see the light. Some doors need to close for others to open.
          You can observe without reacting. You can let go and trust. You can also stop doing Ho'oponopono. You have free choice and you are choosing moment by moment.
          Thank you for the opportunity to clean with this,

  10. rushi says:

    how apply daily ho'oponopono...
    what is going on in me that i am experiencing this as a problem..and then go...plzz help me...how to do daily ho'oponopono

    • Mabel Katz says:

      You have to be patient. It is not overnight that you will let go of thinking and worrying.
      Do the best you can. Every time you are conscious, chose to let go instead of being right.

  11. carol says:

    hi i have been doing Ho'oponopono 4 months have seen some changers but i am sad i clean all day using tools is there any thing else i can do i drink the water thank you

  12. carol says:

    thank you Mable i will say thank you to my expectations and trust God

  13. Pia says:

    Hi, just so I understand this clearly, if I want to heal a relationship with a partner, do I say the mantra to the person, the situation that was created which I take 100% responsibility for (and which has been created because of memories), or to myself, or just chant it without addressing anyone specifically? Do I imagine a certain image in my head, or just be blank?

    Also, do I need to put feelings in it, or just chant without really feeling anything particularly?

  14. Frank says:

    Hi, I´m quite happy to find this place, as I´ve been looking for "real" people with real challenges, rather than just praise. My thing is regarding expectation - I get that I/we shouldn´t expect specific things to happen or to get specific things, however if there´s not an expectation that life-quality will be bettered, I guess I wouldn´t be doing it all day long?

    I´ve worked with this method for 3 month, and cannot say that anything neither big or small has happened, I still worry about the future (and something hs to happen within the next three month, or else...:)

    BTW, I liked your latest book:)

    Best regards

    • Mabel Katz says:

      We never know what we are cleaning with. It takes trusting besides letting go. Knowing there is a part of you that knows better and is always working but sometimes on memories you are not aware of. You never know what you are avoiding or what could had happened.
      Just relax, let go and allow yourself to be guided.

  15. Harold says:

    Hi Mabel,

    I literally just found ho'oponopono like 3 days ago. I had seen ads over the past month about the book Zero Limits, but never focused on it.

    Being out of work for the past 3 months, I had been battling very bad depression. Then I watched the series of videos with the Dr from Hawaii (don't want to butcher his name).

    So I started saying the phrases and in the same day day began to feel better. It gave me the strength I needed to face potential employers. Of course I know it's not overnight perfection but it gives me hope to know that there is something I can use to help myself.

    Even though sometimes I have feelings when I'm saying the phrases, I understand they are not necessary to for the cleaning to take place.

    I don't know if I'm actually letting go or not, but it is peaceful to actually keep saying the phrases. Even though I still deal with the depression, as often as I can I say the phrases and if it doesn't dissapate I just allow myself to feel it.

    Thank you for this post, any words you can share are appreciated.


  16. Prav says:

    I am so attached to my desire that even while doing the Ho´oponopono prayer my mind wanders to the desire and I feel sad for the lack of it . Is it necessary that I need to "I love you" , "Thank you" with feelings or is it ok that while I say the prayer my mind wanders. Any tips for letting go please

    • Mabel Katz says:

      You do not need to feel it. The "thank you2 and "I love you" are just passwords. It's just an inner job. Relax, breath. Do not allow your mind to control you. Keep letting go, keep trusting.

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